well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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