garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize