i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
