I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
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