Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
