If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
