You made me cry and you don't even care
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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