I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
