i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
