and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
