I think im going to throw up on grandma
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
