so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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