look no pants
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
