Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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