fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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