We're facebook friends in real life
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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