So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
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