no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
What a dumb baby whore.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
