Fuck appropriateness.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
