none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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