I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
We have so much sex to catch up on
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
