everyone is single if you try hard enough
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize