what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Randomize
