So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
