Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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