why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
