Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
