It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
