Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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