i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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