walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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