Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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