I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Randomize
