Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
