what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
