at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
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