im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
