Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
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