Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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