I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize