I'm eating all of the evidence.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
