So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
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