you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize
