I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
