I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
