everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
