After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
