your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Shitshow foam night was such a success
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
