the condom got lost in my hair
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
