Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
