he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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