Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Randomize