I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
