Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
