THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize
