So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
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