Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize