Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
