watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
