why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
