Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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