yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
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