not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
