Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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