One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
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