Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
i will never coherently bang her
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
