I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
