I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
