well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Randomize
