She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
