he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
