We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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