Buhtt sex?
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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