what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
