So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Is it because I queefed?
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
